Dumped

Jadi gini. I am a kind of person that unconsciously give special call to a person that I feel close to. It's not that special though. Sometimes I just call my close friends with random calls, like Bro, Sis, Pak, Bu, Saudara, Saudari, Paman, and Coy. 

This time, I was told --several times hence I finally aware that it's serious-- that a friend whom I gave special call doesn't like it. He said he's hurt. This makes me sad. Feels like I was dumped wkwk.

Ternyata penolakan secara langsung lebih jleb daripada didiamkan saja. Setahun lalu, saat pengakuan saya tak berbalas, ga gini-gini amat deh. Padahal dulu saya pikir mending ditolak langsung daripada didiamkan. Padahal ini kolega biasa, sementara yang setahun lalu hmmm kind of a special friend I think. Lagipula ini bukan pengakuan kayak tahun lalu. Ini hanya ekspresi, like a way to tell a friend, "Hey, I see you as my close friend. I can't be open to just everyone but with you, I can be all out." That's how I see this special call.

It's totally not a love confession but this rejection makes me sad.

Tiap akan memanggil dengan panggilan yang membuat saya merasa akrab ini, kemudian ingat bahwa I shall not do this because he rejects, rasanya seperti diberi penghalang untuk menjadi teman baik. But you mustn't be egoistic, Nal.

Mungkin bagi orang itu rasanya seperti ketika orang yang saya anggap cukup akrab memanggil saya dengan sebutan, "Mbak" yang menurut saya tidak semestinya dia gunakan karena dia lebih tua. See, Nal? Even you feel uncomfortable when someone call you with a call you don't want.